Tall Tales
by soofichan
Summary: A bored Legolas resorts to telling stories around the campfire to satisfy himself. What will become of the Fellowship after?


I haven't quite the faintest idea where this came from. I was just thinking about something and then WHAM!!! it runs straight into me like a brick wall. What did I run into like a brick wall, you ask? Why, this!  
  
Kudos to Claire (ladyhawk640) for beta-ing and Dee (Freya Skullka-fei) for helping me think up the ending!!  
  
Admittedly, Legolas tends to get a bit (just a bit) OOC t'wards the end, but, well, it was what had to fit.  
  
Spoken words are in "", thoughts are in '', and mind-speaking is in , for your benefit.  
  
~*:. Amusingly Disturbing.:*~  
  
By: Steph, as called by some, Blue Dragoness yet by others  
  
~*:..:*~  
  
Legolas sat in the large oak, thinking silently to himself, very much like the authoress had been doing before inspiration hit. Of course, she had her crumbly chocolate, and Legolas did not. A sad thing really, not having crumbly chocolate, however did Middle Earth do with out it? Not even having CHOCOLATE even? I- I'm getting a little off topic now, aren't I?  
  
Legolas: You quite are. May I please get back to my thinking?  
  
You may.  
  
As I was saying, as Legolas was thinking silently to himself, the rest of the Fellowship had begun cooking dinner. Well, the hobbits had, anyways. Mithrandir and Aragorn were having a before dinner smoke, and would most likely be having an after dinner one, as well. Boromir was polishing his sword while mumbling incoherently to himself, and Gimli was... well, we don't know what he was doing really, but he just seemed to be staring out into the forest with an almost dreamy look on his face. The authoress was quite perturbed. Legolas was, of course, sitting under his oak, thinking, watching, and listening as the old oak chattered on about old things in the back of his mind. He was quite at peace. For the moment, anyways.  
  
ARE YOU LISTENING, YOUNGUN?!?  
  
The loud yell in his mind caused the fair Elf to jolt, and he whipped around to face the tree, rustling many leaves in the process, and causing the others to stare at him much the way the authoress had stared at Gimli.  
  
'Now,' thought Legolas, 'THAT was a very un-Elf-like thing to do. Yet, screaming is also a very un-tree-like thing to do. Then I suppose that this is a very un-tree-like tree. Which would make me a very un-Elf-like Elf.' He finally concluded. "Yet that doesn't make much sense." Legolas said, voicing his thoughts aloud, yet quietly enough for no one else to hear.  
  
No, you aren't, young one. The Oak spoke again, softer this time, though. Were you listening to me before, like I asked?  
  
No, sir, I'm afraid I wasn't.  
  
No matter, I only voiced my concern, as you seemed a little, well, depressed, really. And I have never known a Wood-Elf to be depressed while in a forest.  
  
I'm not depressed, Oak. Legolas sighed.  
  
Then what is wrong, young Elf?  
  
I'm just utterly, utterly bored.  
  
BORED?! The Oak screeched again, hurting Legolas' inner ear (meaning the one he used to listen to the trees with).  
  
MUST you screech, Master Oak?! I have never known a tree to do so, nor do I really wish to hear it again. It is quite painful.  
  
I am sorry, young Elf. But I have had naught to speak with, except for these stuffy, sleepy trees 'round me, and it feels so nice to have a new voice to speak with! I know it is quite 'un-tree-like', but as you have said, I am not very tree-like myself.  
  
Legolas was confused, yet excited. 'A tree that screams. Nobody'll believe me when I tell them this one. Well, maybe Elladan and Elrohir.' He trailed off. (Yes, the all-worshiped 'demonic' twins will have a bit part in pages to come! Be fore-warned)  
  
But young Elfling, how can you be bored? You are in the forest, with your friends, are you not?  
  
Yes...  
  
Then, little one? the Oak sighed inwardly. 'I do not understand the little ones sometimes.'  
  
Well, Master Oak, it seems as though my friends have interests other than their Elvellon[1]. As you can see. Legolas gestured a bit dejectedly at his friends.  
  
They still care for you, young one. The Oak reassured.  
  
Yes, I know. I never thought otherwise. But I'm still bored.  
  
The Oak would have face-faulted if it could.  
  
I need something hilarious to spice up my day, like Elladan, Elrohir and I used to do when we were younger.  
  
The Oak figured that his new company still 'spiced up his day', and it was not just limited to when he was younger. Little Elf, he started, getting an idea that might just cheer up his companion, and provide a bit of a good laugh for himself.  
  
Yes, Oak?  
  
Could these two friends you speak of, Elladan and Elrohir, was it? Yes, that it was. Anyways, could they provide you with ideas to help cheer yourself up?  
  
At just the thought of that, Legolas' whole face lit up, and he looks upon the mighty Oak with joy. COULD YOU?!? Oh, Master Oak, that would be WONDERFUL!! It was Legolas' turn to shriek. I should say it rightly would, Master Oak!  
  
MUST you screech, Master Elf?! The mighty Oak chuckled at the use of his words and the enthusiasm in the young, delighted Elf. Very well though, little one, I shall send word to the trees in... where did you say your young friends lived? I have forgotten.  
  
I didn't. But they live in Imladris.  
  
Ah yes. Many tree-friends I have on that path, I have. Many that will be delighted to send a message for you. Now, young Elf, what would you like me to send?  
  
Legolas thought of a message that the trees could carry to the twins for a little while, before repeating is answer to the Oak. Could you tell them that: ~Prince Legolas is quite bored, and is in dire need of help from the Elven twins of Imladris. They know of what kind of help I speak of. Should they be so kind as to provide this help, credit for their work shall gladly be given to them. Please respond ASAP, to your liking.~ I think that should suffice, or is it to long?  
  
No, young princeling, and mail travels fast by tree. It should take less than five minutes to reach Imladris.  
  
Legolas smiled. Knowing Elladan and Elrohir, they would have tons of ideas to get back at their adopted brother (being Estel, of course) after the last trick he pulled. Last time Legolas checked, Elladan was still getting bits of chicken feathers out of his hair, and Elrohir could not wash away the taste of ink from his mouth. Legolas hadn't inquired as to what Estel has done, but it must have been one hell of a great prank, or at least from Estel's point of view. Legolas laughed a little to himself as his message was transported to Imladris.  
  
~*:..:*~  
  
Elladan and Elrohir were sitting in the forest near the waterfall, camping, as they knew that their Ada would not be very happy when he found out the new colour of all of his underclothes. It seemed that pink was the new silver-white, or at least for Elrond.  
  
"I can't believe that you thought he would look good in pink." Elladan was trying very hard not to cry with laughter at the thought of his Ada in pink undergarments. "Wherever did you learn how to do that, anyways?"  
  
"What, how to dye white things different colours? It's simple. And when you've been forced to help with washing after so many times, its not really that hard." His younger twin, Elrohir, answered.  
  
"Yes, I suppose it would. Ada sure ran out of punishments quickly, didn't he?" Elladan laughed at their Ada's uninspired imagination. "The number of times he had you washing clothes, and I dishes, was unbelievable!"  
  
"That's true, but at least he's not like Legolas' Ada. He told me he comes up with something new for Legolas every SINGLE time! That would be horrid!" Elrohir was quickly deciding that his father's under-active imagination was a good thing. "At least we know what the consequences are."  
  
"I suppose," Elladan countered, "But then where's the fun in that?"  
  
"You're right. But I guess we can't have everything, can we?" At Elrohir's last statement, both twins heard the message from the trees.  
  
"Speak of the devil." Elladan whispered, grinning at his brother, who glared at him. Elladan knew his younger brother hated when he said that.  
  
"Shut up, Elladan."  
  
"Why do you hate that so much? You've never told me."  
  
"I don't *need* to have a reason to do anything."  
  
"Don't you?"  
  
"No."  
  
'I see.' Elladan thought. 'Must be that damn authoress again. Though I do see her logic this time.'  
  
Thank you, Elladan.  
  
Elladan: You're welcome *smiles, making the authoress want to melt*  
  
Anyways, the twins heard fully Legolas' message, and were quite thrilled, to say the least.  
  
"Bored, is he? Well, I'm sure we can think of something to help the poor Prince, don't you brother of mine?" Elrohir purred. (no, this is *not* a slash-y bit, it just came out that way, much to the authoress' enjoyment, if she's not mistaken)  
  
"I do. I do believe I do. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Elladan asked, eyes twinkling.  
  
"I think I'm thinking what you're thinking."  
  
"Good. Now..." And the twins concocted (what they thought to be, anyways, and they were sure Legolas would feel the same) a brilliant scheme, and sent it off with the trees, as told.  
  
"And this time, we won't even get in trouble!" Elrohir laughed.  
  
"ELLADAN!! ELROHIR!!"  
  
"Though we are now." Elrond had found his underwear.  
  
~*:..:*~  
  
Legolas grinned as he heard the message coming from Elladan and Elrohir in Imladris. He would have to make a point of doing the story-telling on that night. He was also sure that Sam would have some animal fat around, as Aragorn had hunted them a few rabbit-like animals, and there were quite a few gristly bits on them. He would put his plan to work later that night.  
  
Diola lle, nin galadh mellon[2]. Legolas thanked the tree.  
  
You are quite welcome, young one. This shall be quite the enjoyment.  
  
"Mr. Legolas, sir? Your dinner is ready." Sam called to the amused Elf.  
  
"My thanks Sam," Legolas walked back over to where the campfire was, underneath the safety of a few sturdy tree branches. "It smells wonder-" Legolas' eyes shifted un-naturally to the West.  
  
"Legolas? Something wrong?" Aragorn had looked up from putting away his pipe.  
  
"No, just thought I heard something. Must have been a bird." Then he added slyly, "But you never know in these woods." The hobbits looked at one another, slightly startled looks upon their little faces. Legolas' eyes sparkled a little mischievously, though naught, bar Mithrandir, noticed.  
  
Dinner was eaten rather quietly, as the four hobbits, and the dwarf looked upon the surroundings rather warily, as they had heard the Elven prince's comment, and it was growing steadily darker.  
  
"So, Legolas, what was it what you were discussing with the Oak?" Mithrandir's eyebrows moved up and down, almost hypnotically as he spoke.  
  
"Is that what you were doing, Master Elf? Speaking with the trees?" Boromir smiled widely at the news.  
  
"He rather seemed to enjoy it too! I could tell that there was a lot of laughing going on, very observant are the dwarves' eyes." Gimli seemed, for the time being, to take his eyes off the surrounding forest and focus on the Elf; whose ears were rapidly turning a light shade of pink at the tips.  
  
Legolas sighed, "Aye, it was amusing speaking with the old Oak. He told a very amusing story. Not one that befit his home, of course." He added as an afterthought. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence as the sun faded and the moon rose.  
  
After supper, when all the dishes had been cleaned and put away, and darkness had fallen, the Fellowship gathered 'round the fire- well, the hobbits huddled together, everyone else gathered- for someone to tell a story- most likely Aragorn or Mithrandir. But, Legolas volunteered this time, much to everyone's surprise.  
  
"Are you sure Legolas? I mean, you do not volunteer usually."  
  
"Aye, Aragorn, I do not, but I felt this to be a special occasion." Legolas answered, staring directly at the hobbits. Pippin gulped rather loudly, earning an elbow in his side. Legolas smiled, but in a kind of slightly- twisted way, and begun his tale.  
  
"Three and a half thousand years ago, this was a lush and green forest, with a small village located a few leagues away, on the edges of the forest. It was a peaceful and happy village. Isolated, mind you, but very happy indeed. Now, there was one man whom everybody looked to. He was Galith Havoshire, a priest of sorts. Galith was the man whom one would seek to bless a new child, or to join two people in marriage, or perform funeral rituals for the dead. It was said amongst the villagers that Galith could predict a newborn child's fate." Legolas paused, realizing that he had the full, undaunted attention of everyone sitting around the campfire; Aragorn had even put away his pipe. Mithrandir had not, but his eyes sparkled as Legolas' did, and the Elf thought that the Istar had a fairly good idea of what was going on. Not that it mattered, though, so Legolas continued his story.  
  
"All the villagers were excited when a new child was born to the community, and Galith was brought immediately to bless the child. He said proudly to the gathered people that the child would live a long and fulfilled life. Overconfident with himself, Galith took the screaming child in his hands and lifted it to the sky. It screamed louder and harder than it had before, and Galith knew not what was wrong. With this life-prediction children were supposed to stop crying when raised, and be strong and silent, with large, bright eyes facing out to the world. When Galith lowered the child, he found out what was wrong." Legolas paused for effect here, seeing that each of the four hobbits had drawn in an anticipating breath. "The child was dead."  
  
Merry gasped, Frodo's hands flew to his face, and Aragorn's eyebrows shot about ten feet in the air. Boromir whispered something to Gimli about where the Elves learned these stories, and Mithrandir looked thoughtful as ever. Legolas continued.  
  
"The villagers were shocked, nothing like this had ever happened before. People became wary of the man. Fewer people wished them to perform rights for them or their loved ones. The next seven children he blessed met the same fate, each making the villagers have stronger and stronger feelings against Galith. On the day that the eighth child died in Galith's arms, the people revolted."  
  
"Revolted? How?"  
  
"I'm *getting* to that!"  
  
Pippin shrank back at the unexpected annoyance in Legolas' voice.  
  
"Calm down, Legolas." Aragorn's voice broke the silence.  
  
Legolas sighed, casting a glance over his shoulder, into the forest. "I am sorry, melloneamin [3]. This tale occasionally gets to me. Might I continue?" Eight nods showed agreement.  
  
"The people of the village revolted against Galith, and he was captured and brought before the entire village, in the square. There, he was accused of treason, sorcery and conspiracy with the demons of the Hells." Legolas shifted position, casting a glance towards the West again. Frodo was going to point this out, but then thought better of it, considering what Pippin had received in response to his query.  
  
"Now, in the village, the penalty for treason was a hanging. But the penalty for sorcery and conspiracy was to be burned. So which were the people to choose? Death by rope, or death by fire? In all essences, it was a tough decision for the villagers to make. Half of them wanted him to burn for his crimes; the other half wanted the rope. An argument broke out that had deep intentions of becoming something stronger, fiercer, when someone finally had a comprisable idea. It was - ironically - a young girl. Hefting her skirts and standing next to the accused, she shouted over the din of the crowd that this man had killed her baby brother, causing a few heads to turns, to see the daring girl standing upon the platform.  
  
"She spoke of the idea of combining both punishments. To have the man hung above a burning pyre, so he would catch fire as he slowly suffocated. The villagers were quite satisfied with this compromise, and the young girl was formally thanked, and was also comforted over the death of her infant brother, as all the families of deceased children were.  
  
"That night, Galith burned while hanging, in a startling array of colours. Red, orange and yellow flames licked and hugged his body, and marred his face so the villagers could not see the gruesomeness of it. No screams came forth, as the rope bit his throat, and so sound could the burning man make. The only sound was the cracking and popping on wood, and other lit materials. The only smell was that of burning flesh and wood, though the villagers did not care in the slightest. At last, only ashes were left, and they were finally dumped into a deep hole in the ground, and covered with a few feet of dirt. Life was getting back to normal in the small village.  
  
"Then suddenly, one day, the young girl - who was growing into a beautiful, and formidable young woman - was found dead, burns of fire and rope found on her body. Some said it was the spirit of Galith Havoshire, and after the same incident had occurred four or five more times, a legend was created around the happenings." Here, Legolas stopped.  
  
"Well, what is it then, Elf? You cannot keep us waiting forever!" Gimli spoke, irritatedly. The young Prince cast a side-long glance at the Dwarf.  
  
"Yes, he can, Gimli." Boromir sighed, irritated with the amused Elf as well. "He's an Elf. Immortal, remember?" Legolas grinned.  
  
"I do believe I shall tell you, though." Legolas stated wistfully. Nothing was said for a while.  
  
"Well, go on, then!" Aragorn urged. Of all the years he had grown up with Elves, he had never heard this tale, and was very intrigued.  
  
"Ah, well, it is said that the spirit of Galith Havoshire inhabits this very forest where we sit. He is said to be roaming the forest, looking for someone to take his revenge upon."  
  
"Anyone?" squeaked Pippin.  
  
"Anyone." confirmed Legolas. "He is said to cause disturbances a ways from a camp, as so the adults are drawn out to see what has happened, and the children are left almost unattended. Then, a huge flash of fire signals his arrival, and POOF! No more children."  
  
"No more children?!" all the Hobbits together, this time.  
  
"That is what I said."  
  
"Really, Legolas, you don't really believe this, do you?" Boromir was looking around worriedly, and sweat gleamed on his forehead as he tried to be non-chalant about it.  
  
"It would explain the-"  
  
"The what? Explain the what, Legolas?" Aragorn was in the same boat as Boromir, it seemed. As was Gimli. The Hobbits seemed scared out of their minds, and Legolas was loving it. Molding his straight face into one of slight worry, he stood.  
  
"Stay here. I heard something coming from the West." and Legolas hurried off into the trees.  
  
"W-where is h-he going, Strider?" Merry stuttered out.  
  
"To... to... I'm not quite sure Merry, but he will be fine, I'm sure of that." the Hobbit accepted the explanation. "It's us I'm worried about." The Ranger added under his breath.  
  
~*:..:*~  
  
Meanwhile, Legolas had gathered his supplies, and was heading up the branches of an overlaying tree to seat himself directly above the fire.  
  
Be careful, young one. Legolas heard the Oak in his mind.  
  
I will be, mellonamin[4]. Legolas launched himself, silently, into the branches.  
  
Keeping to the shadows, while sitting above the fire, and the remaining Fellowship, Legolas looked down to see that most of his companions had moved a distance from the fire, but also kept their distance from the surrounding forest. All he had to do was wait for the right moment.  
  
~*:..:*~  
  
Aragorn watched as the Hobbits quaked with fear, as they knew that they were the most akin to children, so if the spirit were to show up, they would be the targeted ones. Boromir, Gimli and Aragorn tried valiantly to comfort them, and were repeating vows to protect the Hobbits, and each other, when everything suddenly went quiet. It wasn't that something dramatic had happened, everyone just chose that moment to stop speaking, and it was eerily, and deadly silent.  
  
Aragorn thought he heard a slight dripping noise, when suddenly, the fire before them erupted violently into huge flames. The noise, the suddenness and the fear of flames erupting caused the Hobbits to scream with terror, Gimli, Aragorn and Boromir to yell, then arm themselves rapidly, and Mithrandir to step back. Above all, light Elven laughter was heard, followed by low laughter, from none-other-than Mithrandir himself.  
  
Looking down, Aragorn saw three words scrawled in flame in the dirt. Reading it out loud to himself, it said:  
  
"Got you, Estel!"  
  
"LEGOLAS!!"  
  
~*:..:*~  
  
From Legolas' point of view, high up the tree, he saw the perfect moment. Everyone had stopped speaking, and it was eerily quiet. Picking up the bag filled with animal fat, he poured a little bit gently onto the fire, causing it to explode into high flames. Which in turn caused everyone to scream, cry out and lift their weapons in anticipation, or, in Mithrandir's case, take a few steps backwards.  
  
The looks on all of his companions caused Legolas to erupt into a fit of laughter, and he had to hold onto the branch of the tree to keep his balance, he was shaking so badly. The prince wasn't all surprised when he heard Mithrandir joining in. Neither was he when Aragorn yelled  
  
"LEGOLAS!!"  
  
The Elf wiped the tears from his eyes, and figured it was best he stayed in the tree on this night, or spirits of another sort might come for him.  
  
~*:..:*~  
  
"WHERE IS THAT DAMN, SADISTIC, ROTTEN ELF?!" Aragorn screeched, while everyone tried to calm everyone else down. Mithrandir had stopped laughing when Aragorn turned to him. "YOU!! YOU WERE PART OF THIS WEREN'T YOU?!"  
  
"Quiet down, Aragorn, do you wish to awaken the entire forest?! And, no, I did not have a hand in executing this, I believe that Legolas pulled it off by himself, with the help of a few trees, and the Elven twins of Imladris."  
  
"Elladan and Elrohir." Aragorn growled as the rest of the Fellowship looked on helplessly. "Damn them. DAMN THEM!!"  
  
"Stop acting like a child Estel! You knew that was coming, didn't you?"  
  
Aragorn sighed. Of course, any action he took against his brothers always ended in retaliation, and the twins had even enlisted Legolas (who was only too eager to help) whenever they could. He should have predicted something like this.  
  
"Didn't you?"  
  
"Yes, Gandalf. I must be getting rusty. He got that past me so quickly, and easily." Aragorn sighed again.  
  
"So, that was just a- a PRANK?!" Merry exploded much like the fire had, a few minutes ago.  
  
"Yes, Meriadoc, conceived from the minds of the Elves. Quite ingenious." Mithrandir answered.  
  
Merry turned to Pippin. "We'll have to remember that one."  
  
"Right, we will." Pippin agreed.  
  
Sam shook his head, while Frodo's eyes filled with amusement, as he saw how much that story could benefit him. Boromir reminded the authoress of a slightly toned-down Aragorn, and Gimli much the same. Legolas was still dying with laughter in the trees somewhere, but he was quiet enough.  
  
"We should get some sleep." Aragorn stated finally, and watches were picked. Mithrandir took first watch, and everyone else settled down for the night.  
  
~*:..:*~  
  
The following day, the Fellowship was trekking through a large, flat expanse that had a few trees poking through, but was reminiscent of an ancient village or town. Right where Legolas had said there was the night before.  
  
"Legolas," Merry started. The Elf turned his head, and stopped. "Is this the.. what's left of the village you were talking about last night? Because it's right where you said it'd be."  
  
"But Merry, that was all a joke. It wasn't true, was it Legolas?" Aragorn cut in.  
  
"Actually, only the legend was false." the Prince stated.  
  
"You mean, just the part about the spirit bursting from flames and taking revenge upon children?" Pippin inquired.  
  
Legolas grinned. "Exactly that. The tale was true. I had heard it from one of my maids when I was still an Elfling. But my father confirmed it as I grew older, and it came to be one of my favorites. 'Orrible[5] wasn't it?! It also worked so well!" the young Elf laughed to himself, and the Company began to walk again. "Oh, and Aragorn?" Legolas called, gliding up to him.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Elladan and Elrohir send their best." He grinned again. Aragorn sighed.  
  
"I guess I deserve it. But I'll get them - and you! - for this."  
  
Legolas laughed again, placing a hand on the Ranger's shoulder. "Don't be so sure, Estel. You never know what may happen in the future." And the Fellowship continued on their way to Mordor, chatting along idly.  
  
~*:..:*~  
  
Jebus!! Wow, that took forever to write! Tis 9:50 as we speak- er.. type, and I still haven't started my homework! Anyways, here's the translations for all of you:  
  
[1]- Elf friend. I'm not sure if I spelled this right, tell me if it's wrong  
  
[2]- Thank you, my tree friend. Also, I'm not sure if any of it's grammatically correct, so bear with me.  
  
[3] - My friends  
  
[4] - My friend  
  
[5] - Happi credits go to Dee for this, as 'tis hers  
  
And that's all! Please and thank you to all reviewers! 


End file.
